Sunday sessions #11
Happy Sunday!
There's a lot going on right now.
But first, I want to give myself a pat in the back for reaching past ten weeks, getting closer to completing three months worth of weekly check-ins. This whole blogging ordeal is the personal proof to my self-doubts that I can, in fact, be consistent, if it was something I love (and don't overthink about). Good job, me.
Anyway, the past few days I've been feeling lethargic. The mental cycle continues and is now circling back to this feeling of looming dread about the future. Something's not right, something's not working, and I'm still trying to figure it out. I need to escape this hellhole loop that keeps me stuck in place, paralyzed. Next week I'm going to go all in.
Highlights of the week
- I don't recall doing anything particularly interesting or super productive this week. I took a few days of rest once we got home from the road trip. I played a bit of Animal Crossing and Pokemon again. I tidied up my room a little, not too much. I vacuumed. I put my new books in its proper home. I haven't been walking on the treadmill, sadly. I planned, a lot. It's what I do best; it's how I procrastinate. I looked back on my old diaries and reminisced. I'm using some of them as inspiration and reference.
- I'm almost always a day late with my reels. Lately I've been feeling lethargic and lazy towards it that I put it off until tomorrow. That's not a good thing, but as long as I am still recording each day, everything will be just fine. I'm surprised to still be going strong 133 days later. It's a great achievement for me either way.
- I streamed for three days this week. The new season of Apex is quite a blast, especially with the new and improved Broken Moon map. I haven't tried the main legend yet (I don't think I intend to for quite awhile), but my enjoyment of the game mostly came from the fact that I got free heirloom shards last time, and I saved it up in hopes of getting the universal one. They added the artifacts this season and made it redeemable with the shards, so you can see how ecstatic I was to finally get my hands on one. It's so fun spinning it around. It feels so good. Such a huge dopamine hit. I love it.
- I went out the yard for the first time to bask in the warm rays of the sun. It was a nice, windy morning where I simply wrote and inhaled inspiration. It felt peaceful, and I definitely want to turn it into a routine. Summer is fast approaching, so it'll be an open world microwave very soon. I need to take advantage of the chill spring breeze while it's still here.
WeblogPoMo
At the start of May, I joined my first blogging challenge, WeblogPoMo. I was keeping up for about a whole week (despite being on vacation without proper access to a good wifi) and it felt semi-productive until I realized... I wasn't truly enjoying what I was writing. The current theme I have going on is some sort daily update on my projects to keep me accountable and in check, and maybe a few notes on what I did that day and how I felt. Overall it was an okay series, nothing too fancy. But as time went on and I started looking back at my archives, I hated the sight of it. The list felt like a clunky mess; infested with spam. It was not something I'd want to click and read again, and most of my works are written for me so if I don't want to re-read it then there's no point in posting it. It felt unnecessary, especially since I already have daily reels to keep track of what I do. Also, the whole challenge goes against my own rule, which was the freedom to post whatever and whenever I wanted. I felt detached from what I was writing - forcing words out of my mouth and jotting down thoughtless recounts just to fill the page; just to fill a quota. I want to take my time writing about things that are truly important to me, so unfortunately this challenge - despite being such a fun and amazing opportunity to be more productive - didn't work out as well as I'd hope, making me consider withdrawing.
I guess in the end it was a good thing I didn't enlist my blog.
Housekeeping & Final Thoughts
- I have strong goals for next week. No more planning, only doing. I'm not allowed to write any planning or organizing drafts. Only drafts of blogs, scripts, and storyboards. I have a whole list of things I'd like to do. It's time I actually try harder.
- I want to start a hobby blog, one that's public and accessible by my existing main audience. It won't be mentioned as much or connected at all to this private one. I just want a place to talk about things I like, especially gaming, and things I'm getting back into (mostly reading books).
- Eyeing at Rusty's Retirement and Spirit City: Lofi Sessions...
See you next Sunday <3