The return to something insignificant

spider

I saw a spider fall on my notebook and crawl across the pages.

One thing you should know about me is that I hate bugs with my whole being.

I have this very irrational fear of these tiny, menacing creatures, especially ants. I will shriek and smack the living shit out of one on sight.

I will kill any insect without hesitation, except for this one.

I can never bring myself to kill a spider.

No matter how loud I scream or afraid I get, I can never whack a spider dead with a flat surface. I run to my brother’s room to ask him to get it, or grab an empty container that can lock it in so I can throw it outside. If I catch a glimpse of one falling into a corner that I can never reach, I just cry myself to sleep.

Perhaps I owe that habit to a poem I once read when I was a kid (by Rudy Francisco).

She asks me to kill the spider.Ā   
Instead, I get the mostĀ   
peaceful weapons I can find.Ā   
  
I take a cup and a napkin.Ā   
I catch the spider, put it outsideĀ   
and allow it to walk away.Ā   
  
If I am ever caught in the wrong placeĀ   
at the wrong time, just being aliveĀ   
and not bothering anyone,Ā   
  
I hope I am greetedĀ   
with the same kindĀ   
of mercy.

#random #thought