Midweek check-in
Happy Wednesday,
or not.
It's been three days and I haven't started on any actual tasks. I have no idea why I struggle so much with this. My brain is full of stuff I want to do constantly, 24/7, nudging me every second about my weekly checklist telling me "hey, start doing this!" but for some goddamn reason I still haven't started. I dip my toes in the task and get distracted.
Oh, I'm supposed to draw today? Okay, let me open my art program and look for the perfect brush the whole day and get nothing done.
Oh, I'm supposed to code? Let's google some Youtube tutorials, look at random frameworks that have nothing to do with the project, and watch some motivational videos of people coding!
Oh, I'm supposed to start a project today? Let me think about doing it and daydream how cool it'd be to finish it, I just need some motivation for the whole day~
Oh, I have the simplest task of clearing out my phone gallery today?
...
no.
I'M. SO. FREAKING. TIRED.
I'm so exhausted of this never ending cycle that I can't seem to get away from. One day I'll feel like I'm slowly progressing, so I start relaxing then all of a sudden I'm slipping again.
I need some stricter rules (and more mental rewiring).
Animal Crossing isn't helping either. It's been eating up so much of my time lately, especially in the morning where my brain is the most easily influenced. I stay in bed for 2 or so hours to do some daily quests, and not having Ruby is stressing me out! I'm losing my mind.
I'm having beef with the gacha system of this game; it's so frustrating. I wasted all my miles for tickets and ended up getting tilted over and over again, something I promised myself I would try to avoid. Today I was on the final quest for my 10th villager so I was trying really, really hard, but alas, thousands of wasted miles later, I still have no Ruby in my hands. And since I was running out of both miles and tickets for real (I have like 5k miles left), I had to settle for the second best option, and it turned out to be another fucking octopus. I got Cephalobot. I have THREE Octopussies now in my island.
This time I really should take a break from hunting villagers (until I earn thousands of miles that I wouldn't feel stressed wasting them). I have three that I'm planning to kick out as I'm not particularly fond of them, so I have three more chances to get her in the future. For now I'll focus on spending all my time and energy making my island pretty, something I've been neglecting since I wanted to have my favorite animals first. Imma spend all my shit on recipes and cute furniture this time!
On the bright side, today is my third day streak of walking in the treadmill. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I haven't 'moved around' in years as I've been stuck in my room playing a NEET role in society. It's a small step in the right direction (largely thanks to the fact that I've been feeling some bad back pain and thought I really have to start exercising again lol), and in this house we celebrate those little achievements no matter how small.
I wish I could walk around the neighborhood for some fresh air, but it's chilly and snowy outside so it's not gonna be enjoyable at the slightest (I'd be freezing in my boots).
I'm going to try and reset for the day while I still have the rest of the afternoon. Wish me luck.