i'm giving up.
After a cathartic release of frustration in my last post, I've decided to give up.
I'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of being afraid of failure.
I'm tired of being doubtful of my own potential.
I'm tired of being burnt out and constantly surrendering to it.
I'm tired of being insecure and not feeling good enough.
I'm tired of being socially anxious of what people think.
I'm tired of trying to do everything perfectly or not do it at all.
I'm exhausted of living in my own shadow.
From now on I'm going to do everything I want,
every task on my to-do list,
every project, every goal, every dream,
put my heart out in the open for the world to see
in hopes that even just one would stick.
And if it doesn't, fuck it.
It doesn't matter.
I'm going to create a graveyard of dreams and delusions, and fill it with unfinished pieces of art; a museum of work-in-progress.
No more overthinking, no more perfectionism, no more waiting till I'm ready.
All I want is to move forward.
I don't want to just exist, I want to live.
So I'm going to start, even when I'm not ready.
I'm going to keep trying, even if it's inconsistent.
I'm going to do everything I've always dreamed of, even if I don't finish it.
I'm crafting a world and planting every idea, giving it a chance to bloom; a chance to exist.
I'm forcefully closing an unfinished, comfortable chapter in my life to start writing a new one. This time, let's switch the genre to a chaotic adventure.